The Comfort Zone
I’ve been wondering about something for quite some time. From the time I was a child I was shy. Socially awkward. Definitely not one of the “cool kids.” Yet my life has led me to a place where I have to speak to people I don’t know because in my professional life I’ve worked as a secretary and receptionist. I’ve had to speak in front of groups of people in the course of several volunteer positions I’ve been in.
Every time I do any of these things I feel like I’m a different person. Left to my own devices I would stay in my house and not talk to anyone. Yet here I am talking to people.
I told my Sunday School class of senior adults that I’m an introvert and have always struggled with shyness. They didn’t believe me.
I told my Wednesday night elementary girls class the same thing, and they laughed at me!
None of these people knew me when I was younger. They would have seen the awkwardness and that I was never part of the “in” crowd. But when I was in the tenth grade no one was more shocked than me when I decided to join the Speech Team. I’ll never forget my very first competition. ( Speech competitions? Yes, speech competitions that involved quite a few schools in our region.)
During my first event I sat in the classroom and listened to the other speakers with a sense of unreality. Was this a dream? Could this really be happening?
When I realized I was up next my internal struggle became an all-out battle. “What am I doing here? I can’t do this!!” Against my better judgement I didn’t run from the room. I got up and gave my inspiring, informative speech about the potato. It wasn’t the greatest, but it wasn’t too bad. I was hooked. And for the next three years I participated. One year I even went to semi-finals. Alas, I never won an award.
Sigh. I just couldn’t rise above the introvert in me.
I continued this journey out of my comfort zone in my last semester of college. I’m not sure how it happened, but somehow I found myself taking a course that included a debate. I spent the semester at Simpson College in San Francisco. Talk about a fish out of water! I was obviously the country girl, and I never really fit in. (Nothing new there!.)
There I was, not in front of a room of 10-12 people to deliver a speech, but in the college chapel service with an auditorium full of my peers. My debate opponent spoke at machine gun velocity, and her arms flew above and around the podium at a similar speed. This was not out of character for her, but this morning her caffeine consumption appeared to be off the rails. I don’t remember the topic of the debate or what point of view my partner and I took, but according to the exit poll of students, we won the debate. Not on the merit of our facts or the undeniable logic of our arguments. Honestly, we weren’t that great.
No, we won with a little help from my snarky attitude.
When our opponent finished her high velocity speech, and it was my turn to rebut, I just couldn’t help myself. The snark came out, and my first words were:
“Well, our opposition certainly has a lot of energy.”
It brought the house down. And I will believe to my dying day that those words won the debate.
As soon as the debate was over, I retreated back into my shell.
I’ve never understood how that works. How do I manage to come out like a lion when the need arises? Recently I heard an explanation that makes sense to me.
I heard a man on a writer’s webinar talk about his own shyness. It’s not uncommon in people who are in the spotlight. Do a Google search for “Shy Celebrities” and you’ll be amazed at the names that come up. At the top of the list: Lady Gaga, Johnny Depp and Beyonce. The speaker on the webinar went on to say that these performers are able to put on a persona. A mask, like the ancient Greeks did for their theaters.
That made sense to me. I teach Sunday School like an extrovert because that’s the role I need to play (a lot of help from the Holy Spirit doesn’t hurt either). When I make myself walk up to a visitor and introduce myself, or when I walk around and chat with people before church, I’m doing what I need to do.
Don’t get me wrong. I love to chat with my church family. I can’t go quite that far with walking up to a visitor, but it’s something that is necessary, so I do it. When we have a church fellowship, and I talk and joke with everyone else at the table, that’s also something that I have required myself to do.
The introvert in me would much prefer to sit at a table or a pew by myself and not talk to anyone. Can’t I be the official church wallflower? All this other stuff is way out of my comfort zone.
I would love to be able to go back to high school and compete on the speech team again. I’ve learned how to come out of my shell. I’ve learned to push the envelope on my comfort zone. Of course I always retreat back within its boundaries when my task is complete.
Is this what God requires us to do? Why wouldn’t it be? How can we obey His command to tell others about Jesus if we stay in our box? How can we reach out to people and bear one anothers burdens if we are too self-centered to care? Our Father makes all things new.
“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17
That includes our comfort zone!
You may be thinking, “Wait a minute. Isn’t that putting on an act? Isn’t that hypocrisy?
Don’t worry. I’ll deal with that aspect of putting on a mask in next week’s blog!
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